Day 59: Change –tion of endings to by –ing and name the actors for clarity.
On day 58, we changed “The reorganization of the department made many employees unhappy” to “Reorganizing the department made many employees unhappy.” However, we still don’t know who performed the action, i.e., the rhetorical subject.
Generally, we try to remove all nominalizations and to name the people or things that perform the action. We do this with the by -ing structure. Using this tip, we replace “reorganization of” to “by reorganizing,” which forces us to name the person or thing performing the action.
Now our revised sentence will read
“By reorganizing the department, the management made many employees unhappy.” (emphasizes “unhappy”)
We can also rearrange this sentence for a different effect:
“The management made many employees unhappy by reorganizing the department.” (emphasizes “reorganizing”)
